This is an appeal to third world citizens everywhere. Even as you
read this, corporate executives all over the world are having to cope
with an ever-increasing crisis. The corporations need to produce more
profit every year, otherwise they will die. Working via western
governments and aid agencies, we have so far managed to stave off
this crisis, by building large infrastructure projects like dams, in
the third world. More recently we are moving into Eastern Europe too,
so you can see we are getting desperate.
How you can help.
We realise that you don't have much money (we made sure of that), but
we have lots of that already. What we need from you is your land, so
we can build things on it. This small sacrifice could make a big
difference to the lives of thousands of overstressed executives and
shareholders around the world, and could prevent a recurrence of the
mass suicides seen during the financial crashes of the seventies and
eighties.
Every little helps, so even if you only have a tiny smallholding, you
can still be part of the solution.
How it works.
Many political activists in both the west and the third world say
that these big infrastructure projects are useless. This is not true.
We need dams so we can build roads going to the dams. We need roads so
we can make superquarries to get the roadbuilding materials. We need
superquarries so we can build roads to the superquarries, and open up
forests to timber extraction. We need timber extraction so we can
build logging roads, and we need logging roads so we can open up
remote areas to make way for the bigger roads we need to build dams.
We realise this is all a bit complicated for a bunch of ignorant
darkies to understand, so to help you we have devised a plan called
'forced relocation', in which you get to move without having to worry
about all the details.
Coming soon to a village near you.
Yes, forced relocation is probably happening near you already. If
not, don't worry, it will soon. But why wait? You can get involved
right now, by moving in with some people about to be relocated, and
joining in with their customary 'protest'. Then we get to move you
now, thus saving us the bother later.
If you don't know the address of your nearest forced re-location, our
friends the WWF (World Wide Fund for Nature) will probably be able to
help, as they are usually overseeing the set up of our greenwash
'nature reserves' in the areas, and may even be re-locating
tribespeople from a reserve.
Watch out for people planning serious insurrection or revolution
though. They could jeopardise the whole first world aid project, so
report them to your local government or compliant NGO office
immediately.
